Lady, personal development, writing

What I am dreaming of in 2018


The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. …

So, it’s a New Year. It is 2018 and I am ready to rock! Bring out the planners. Create a fresh new vision! Build my future and further business/work/blogger prospects.

Before I tell you my favourite books or quotes of the year, I want to reflect on the year ahead. I want to broaden my writing prospects. Study more. Read more. Have more “quiet times”. Be more community involved. Join a church. I have just started attending KingdomCity in Wangara here in Western Australia with the senior pastors, Mark and Jemima Varughese. Their vision is “connecting, equipping and empowering people to bring the reality of God to their world.”

But I just want to further my education goals and reach higher. Aim higher. Get more and better fast tracked results health wise, financial wise or any goal-oriented points I put myself into.

My dream.

One word.

London.

Full stop.

I am enjoying the peace and quiet in Landsdale to reflect on what I personally want and strive to do. I have done the Reverse Bucket List last year. Tick!

I have set goals.

I want to be creative in my ideas.

But now is my time to put things into action and for once, use my decision-making skills and learn the decision-making process.

I have set goals and tasks, which I could share with you, but all I am thinking is, the “refresh” button. I want to start all over again, renew my thoughts, clear my mind, do it with a clean slate.

I am a goal oriented girl, and constantly talk about goals whether they’re long or short! My full dreams and aspirations and all the things I want to achieve. I am a very creative type, so doing things to create a program and become creative in everything I do would definitely help. I would love to create a platform for women to gain confidence in themselves. Starting a finishing school in Perth would also be a huge ambition/dream. I am ready!

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. …

So, I am pulling out “Your Beautiful Business” Book by Emma Franklin Belle and going to re-read this short inspirational book to see if I can turn my dreams of this blog into a business.

Emma Franklin Bell is the founder of The Beautiful Business Academy (The BBA). The BBA is an entrepreneurial academy for creative women who want to accelerate the growth of their businesses and successfully build their brands.

Your Beautiful Business Book inspires you to leap into your business and build something that is soulful, purposeful and profitable!

Next up, I will go through the book step by step about decluttering and building a stand out clear vision for my business. Bring on 2018 with some new fresh ideas and a heart full of many desires. I will be working on a book review of this book in my next blog post.

Any tips?

Have you started a business?

What are your goals for 2018?

Have you got any writing goals?

Any travel goals?

Also, what do you think of me starting a Finishing School in Perth for young ladies? Please comment below your thoughts. I would LOVE to hear from you!

Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there.

P.S. I will add my favourite books of the year and do more Book Reviews this year along with some different self-help quotes in a new blog post.

Also, don’t forget to check out Emma’s website and claim your FREE copy of her book!

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How to be a lady, Journal for 5 Day Blogging Challenge with Your Beautiful Business Academy, Lady

The 7 Traits of successful elegance


Here are my top 7 tips and traits for a lady aspiring to be a woman of elegance.

1. Kindness – caring, compassionate, loving and considerate

A kind person shows concur for the feelings of others and is helpful and generous. A kind person does good deeds without expecting rewards for doing so. It is a fundamental aspect of manifesting careens and can be the ability to place the needs of others before your own, to be completely selfless and full of empathy.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”

Mark Twain

Kindness is a character strength and a lot of people in this world classify it as ‘good character’. To me,it is number one. You are always going to have unkind people in this world, but we can’t change that, but we CAN change it by being kind. In some situations, where someone is unkind to you and your approach is to be kind back – to me, that is what a woman of strength is, and having that virtue of humanity can change your world.

You can practise or express kindness through doing charity work, or just going home and loving your family is enough.

“Kindness consists of doing favours and good deeds for others without the expectation of personal gain. This strength requires respect for others but also includes emotional affection. Kind people find joy in the act of giving and helping other people, regardless of their degree of relatedness or similarity.”

Tayyab Rashid

According to studies, it creates a significant increase in life satisfaction. Another study also found that participants felt happier spending money on others rather than themselves.

Happiness can be increased through the practice of kindness.

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness” Dalai Lama

Here are some ways to practice kindness:

– Buy a small gift randomly for someone
– Make a card for a friend
– Talk to someone who is shy
– Set up a coffee date with an old girlfriend
– Donate your unneeded possessions
– Talk with a neighbour
– Smile at people passing by

 

2. Cautiousness

Now you are probably wondering why I put this down as a trait. I put this second as it is a trait that a lot of women aren’t really aware of. There can be so many situations where you can put this into practice. In relationships, particularly when someone uses you for their own gain – you need to be watchful and mindful of these kind of people, and carry on in circumspection.

Another great words to describe this trait is to be ‘vigilant’. These two words are found in the bible in Psalms a lot, particularly when King David talks about his enemies.

 

3. Self – Respect

As they say, “Elegant ladies are hard to come by.” If you are a young girl looking for information on how to be an elegant lady or like a lady in Downton Abbey, you will come to realise that they have a lot of self-love and del-respect for themselves. The way they carry themselves is with two things:

grace and poise

as they always say!

And how they dress definitely reflects their character. Self-care is of the utmost importance and self-respect and self-care co-exist. It is by development of self-understanding and self-awareness. Through the way they speak, address people, talk, what they are capable of, and holding a lot of self-confidence.

it is all about being aware and confident of who you are.

Through self-awareness you are attuned to your feelings, emotional responses, and listening to the tone of your inner voice. I also did a post on “Staying true to yourself” and it is not easy to do that if you really don’t know who you are, perceptively. To perceive is to be aware, and someone who is perceptive is considered aware, intelligent and insightful.

Huffington Post states on “the 10 Understated Qualities of a truly beautiful woman” that “when your are self-loving you naturally possess a quiet confidence. Your self-awareness, dedication to self-development and personal growth provide you the knowledge to succeed nearly at anything you seek”

 

4. Treat yourself first-class

An elegant striving lady always treats herself first-class; she is comfortable in her own skin and with her self.

Sometimes we feel less than a lady if we don’t treat ourselves as number 1! You have to think of yourself as FIRST CLASS even if you are in the middle/low classes of society. Society brands certain ladies to be who they WANT to be first-class. We can be bigoted about it and often we forget to use our strongest trait to be kind to ourselves.

5. Use what you’ve got

Wearing a $1000 Buberry coat, and $500 pairs of Vivienne Westwood shoes doesn’t have to be everyones signature and yes, I love delving into high-end luxury brands but at the end of the day, that doesn’t make you elegant. I believe elegance is definitely an inner beauty. It is the way you interact with people and the demeanour you carry that makes you truly elegant. You don’t have to look a MILLION dollars either, although that would be nice! You are probably thinking, why should I take advice from someone who uses the word “exquisite” for their blog, and they’re saying this!!?? but that’s just something I aspire to, and it is not the actual definition of my name. I hope you understand where I am coming from.

 

6. She uses proper etiquette

In my recent post “How to have proper etiquette” I hone in on the 19th century background but if that doesn’t interest you, it’s fine! In the modern world, it still applies today.

Proper etiquette never goes out of fashion, and knowing the basics, it shows an air or possession of elegance. Over the years, we forget the general rules of etiquette – it can be a “younger generation” thing or maybe you weren’t taught at home, or in your upbringing. It is important to understand it’s meaning and what perceptions you have.

 

7. A BIG heart

To some, this may seem the most important. I think this can co-exist with kindness because without a big heart ,there is none!

She is someone who doesn’t like to meddle in major gossip and is not petty or catty towards anyone! She is someone who is aware of her thoughts, moods, actions and she puts in a lot of effort when it comes to relationships/friendships.

I love what Kathleen Cheung said at the University of Toronto.

“She’s introspective and she puts in the effort to understand herself on a deeper level so she doesn’t let “what others think” or “what others do” to direct her decision in life.”

She is open-minded, honest, and most of all, believes in herself, and allows things to be, instead of meddling in other peoples affairs. It takes a big heart to help shape other peoples lives and your own. So, don’t forget to have an open heart towards people, even when you have been heart broken in the past or something major has changed the course of your life path.

I suggest you go through each trait thoroughly and write notes if you like. You can use the information for your own benefit, and I highly praise you for reading till the end because it is not EVERy girls ambition to have these kind of character traits and I admire you for wanting to read something of this calibre, with this title, to further develop yourself as a woman and “A Lady of Quality

Elegance, Home, Journal for 5 Day Blogging Challenge with Your Beautiful Business Academy, Lady

How to have proper Etiquette


In the 19th century, wine, entertaining and feasting was widely practised, as tradition in an English home was banqueting and/or hosting such huge events.

In Western European culture attending parties was almost like the law. It was a British regulation, and part of high society. In the late nineteenth century, a wealthy family would always serve their feast on exquisite china followed by silverware.

Although you have the working class to lower and upper middle class, all classes celebrate at some point.

I would love to one day specifically do a blog on “Victorian Englands Social Hierarchy” but I don’t want to get too carried away and off topic, but I just want to give you a bit of a background to the topic we are going to be covering.

The idea of banqueting is actually found in ancient times, but the definition of it is: a large meal or feast, completed with main courses and desserts. It is also known as an elaborate and formal evening meal.

For example, you have ‘state banquets’ held at Buckingham Palace. The English have “Dinner Etiquette” when it comes to formal dining. If you have been invited to a dinner, always make sure to RSVP at least within a week whether it is lavish or not. This is out of general respect. Your response should always be handwritten or printed on a correspondence card.

Dining-room-buckingham-palace

Manners and Etiquette in general should still matter these days and proper manners allow us to be comfortable in front of others and society. It is used in todays aspects, in a world of social media. Social Media etiquette is something I really would like to cover and is a whole other topic and should be used when posting on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, etc. I believe that when you use the correct manners you will always be highly regarded and more respected than those who don’t.

Formal Dining

  1. A formal dinner requires a lady to wear evening attire, such as a slim black dress that flatters or accentuates your body. In the eighteenth century the dinner dress code was a corset, bodice, stockings, petticoat, a gown, ruffles and shoes. (With  formal evening attire make sure you dress classically and appropriately. If you are not sure about the appropriate dress, ask the host before attending)
  2. Never serve for yourself, unless stated
  3. Do not pass dishes around, to avoid any trait of clumsiness
  4. When there are butlers, they do all the service and table clearing If there are serving dishes or utensils placed on the table then you may ask the hosts if you can serve yourself, otherwise, I always wit until I am told that i can serve myself. Wait, watch, look and see what other people are doing as well
  5. It is not your local coffee shop where you can just sit down wherever or whenever you like – there is specific seating arrangement, especially in a royal household!

When serving a formal dinner

  1. Forks go on the left
  2. Salad fork first
  3. Dinner fork beside the plate
  4. On the right side of the plate, knife, appetiser, salad knife, spoon or soup spoon.
  5. The dessert fork and spoon are placed on the table above the plate, fork pointing right, spoon pointing left

At a formal dinner, the host/hostess or the guests do not assist with serving meals. Formal dining, you should know, does not allow you to have second helpings as well.

formal dinner diagram

Menu Courses

A full course dinner can consist of several dishes. Even 16!

  1. Appetisers – These canapés would be served in the drawing room before entering the dining room
  2. Soup – A cream coup to help digestive systems prepare for heavier courses
  3. Fish – Can be served as a platter hot or cold
  4. Entree – can consist of poultry or vegetables
  5. Removes – This is a portion of a meal
  6. Sorbet – This is a palate cleanser
  7. Roast – The final heavy course

You can also include number 8 as a salad which is greens with a light dressing.

If you want to Eat like an Edwardian with a meal plan like the Crawleys of Downton Abbey, this is the way to go! You can also include fruit and cheese! Here is an example from Prince William and Catherine Middletons wedding:

wedding-menu

Traditionally, after the whole course menu there is some form or entertainment, typically in the 19th century it was dancing and playing with cards – like you see in those period costume dramas.

Getting involved in these activities will benefit you socially and people will love you for it!

Lastly, don’t forget to say ‘thank you’ to the host/s for such a wonderful evening, or for holding such a great party! The nicer you are, the more respect you get!

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