How to be a lady, Journal for 5 Day Blogging Challenge with Your Beautiful Business Academy, Lady

The 7 Traits of successful elegance


Here are my top 7 tips and traits for a lady aspiring to be a woman of elegance.

1. Kindness – caring, compassionate, loving and considerate

A kind person shows concur for the feelings of others and is helpful and generous. A kind person does good deeds without expecting rewards for doing so. It is a fundamental aspect of manifesting careens and can be the ability to place the needs of others before your own, to be completely selfless and full of empathy.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”

Mark Twain

Kindness is a character strength and a lot of people in this world classify it as ‘good character’. To me,it is number one. You are always going to have unkind people in this world, but we can’t change that, but we CAN change it by being kind. In some situations, where someone is unkind to you and your approach is to be kind back – to me, that is what a woman of strength is, and having that virtue of humanity can change your world.

You can practise or express kindness through doing charity work, or just going home and loving your family is enough.

“Kindness consists of doing favours and good deeds for others without the expectation of personal gain. This strength requires respect for others but also includes emotional affection. Kind people find joy in the act of giving and helping other people, regardless of their degree of relatedness or similarity.”

Tayyab Rashid

According to studies, it creates a significant increase in life satisfaction. Another study also found that participants felt happier spending money on others rather than themselves.

Happiness can be increased through the practice of kindness.

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness” Dalai Lama

Here are some ways to practice kindness:

– Buy a small gift randomly for someone
– Make a card for a friend
– Talk to someone who is shy
– Set up a coffee date with an old girlfriend
– Donate your unneeded possessions
– Talk with a neighbour
– Smile at people passing by

 

2. Cautiousness

Now you are probably wondering why I put this down as a trait. I put this second as it is a trait that a lot of women aren’t really aware of. There can be so many situations where you can put this into practice. In relationships, particularly when someone uses you for their own gain – you need to be watchful and mindful of these kind of people, and carry on in circumspection.

Another great words to describe this trait is to be ‘vigilant’. These two words are found in the bible in Psalms a lot, particularly when King David talks about his enemies.

 

3. Self – Respect

As they say, “Elegant ladies are hard to come by.” If you are a young girl looking for information on how to be an elegant lady or like a lady in Downton Abbey, you will come to realise that they have a lot of self-love and del-respect for themselves. The way they carry themselves is with two things:

grace and poise

as they always say!

And how they dress definitely reflects their character. Self-care is of the utmost importance and self-respect and self-care co-exist. It is by development of self-understanding and self-awareness. Through the way they speak, address people, talk, what they are capable of, and holding a lot of self-confidence.

it is all about being aware and confident of who you are.

Through self-awareness you are attuned to your feelings, emotional responses, and listening to the tone of your inner voice. I also did a post on “Staying true to yourself” and it is not easy to do that if you really don’t know who you are, perceptively. To perceive is to be aware, and someone who is perceptive is considered aware, intelligent and insightful.

Huffington Post states on “the 10 Understated Qualities of a truly beautiful woman” that “when your are self-loving you naturally possess a quiet confidence. Your self-awareness, dedication to self-development and personal growth provide you the knowledge to succeed nearly at anything you seek”

 

4. Treat yourself first-class

An elegant striving lady always treats herself first-class; she is comfortable in her own skin and with her self.

Sometimes we feel less than a lady if we don’t treat ourselves as number 1! You have to think of yourself as FIRST CLASS even if you are in the middle/low classes of society. Society brands certain ladies to be who they WANT to be first-class. We can be bigoted about it and often we forget to use our strongest trait to be kind to ourselves.

5. Use what you’ve got

Wearing a $1000 Buberry coat, and $500 pairs of Vivienne Westwood shoes doesn’t have to be everyones signature and yes, I love delving into high-end luxury brands but at the end of the day, that doesn’t make you elegant. I believe elegance is definitely an inner beauty. It is the way you interact with people and the demeanour you carry that makes you truly elegant. You don’t have to look a MILLION dollars either, although that would be nice! You are probably thinking, why should I take advice from someone who uses the word “exquisite” for their blog, and they’re saying this!!?? but that’s just something I aspire to, and it is not the actual definition of my name. I hope you understand where I am coming from.

 

6. She uses proper etiquette

In my recent post “How to have proper etiquette” I hone in on the 19th century background but if that doesn’t interest you, it’s fine! In the modern world, it still applies today.

Proper etiquette never goes out of fashion, and knowing the basics, it shows an air or possession of elegance. Over the years, we forget the general rules of etiquette – it can be a “younger generation” thing or maybe you weren’t taught at home, or in your upbringing. It is important to understand it’s meaning and what perceptions you have.

 

7. A BIG heart

To some, this may seem the most important. I think this can co-exist with kindness because without a big heart ,there is none!

She is someone who doesn’t like to meddle in major gossip and is not petty or catty towards anyone! She is someone who is aware of her thoughts, moods, actions and she puts in a lot of effort when it comes to relationships/friendships.

I love what Kathleen Cheung said at the University of Toronto.

“She’s introspective and she puts in the effort to understand herself on a deeper level so she doesn’t let “what others think” or “what others do” to direct her decision in life.”

She is open-minded, honest, and most of all, believes in herself, and allows things to be, instead of meddling in other peoples affairs. It takes a big heart to help shape other peoples lives and your own. So, don’t forget to have an open heart towards people, even when you have been heart broken in the past or something major has changed the course of your life path.

I suggest you go through each trait thoroughly and write notes if you like. You can use the information for your own benefit, and I highly praise you for reading till the end because it is not EVERy girls ambition to have these kind of character traits and I admire you for wanting to read something of this calibre, with this title, to further develop yourself as a woman and “A Lady of Quality

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Celebrities, Elegance, Fashion, How to be a lady, Lady, personal development, self help

How to be like “Kate” in a “Kardashian” world 


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It is on my heart to give some guideline as to how to live a life similar to Kate Middleton, rather than being consumed by women that educate young women about having Botox, or plastic surgery to have a successful and affluent life. I can’t believe the extreme that young girls go to, to look like someone that is basically artificial, rather than a simple natural beauty and stunner! Don’t get me wrong, I think Kim Kardashian is quite pretty, but she uses mascara over her false eyelashes! Or even doubles the false lashes! I also have a soft spot for Kendall Jenner.

It is more comely when a lady is refined and full of knowledge, cultivated and cultured, and I would be so happy if you found the following steps to be healthy for you and desirable for your life.

kate middleton classy

 

Learn to be classy

A classy woman is three things,

genuine, feminine and full of high quality.

Being classy is not found on your average street, and being high-class is so rare considering there is a lot of trash on TV these days. I don’t want to offend anyone by saying that the Kardashians are trashy, but from what I have seen myself, I don’t find the Kardashians ‘classy’, no offence to Kardashian lovers.

I may have mentioned this before in previous posts, but to be classy is all about holding yourself with particular style, a hint of elegance, an aura of sophistication, polished etiquette, grace and finesse.

Make your inner sophistication and stylishness stand out by dressing like Kate Middleton, following proper etiquette, and using sophisticated language.

At the moment I am reading an epistolary novel, which uses quite fancy words and is sort of poetic and literary. To extend and expand on your language I suggest you read great literary work, like Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Go to your local library and search for books on “language” or “allegory” to develop an understanding for technical terms and to help sharpen your mind. Learning to read deeper widens your semantics and perspective and creates syntactics, helping you with the form of words, semiotics and linguistics.

In a manner of elegance and gracefulness be aware of the tone of your voice, how you speak to others, what things you do to attract people to you. You don’t have to be theoretical or philosophical in the way you say things, (although that is very cultured and smart) but simply, stating something from a book or a movie could be advantageous. I particularly like the statement in Pride and Prejudice where they say “Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

This is a great example.

“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! — When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.”

It sounds totally like me!



Practice your posture 

You don’t have to put a pile of books on your head to do this, when sitting in the lounge or at the dinner table, make sure you’re shoulders are back, not by sticking out your chest, but make sure that your back is straight. When you are aware of your posture, a sense of self-confidence may come your way!

Kate Middleton stunning


Watch and learn from other women

Is there a lady that you admire? Do you know a lady that knows how to walk properly, or dresses completely well that you just want to look like her! To be honest, I do feel that way when I see pictures of Kate, but apart from buying an original Dolce and Gabbana dress or Alexander McQueen gown, just to look like her could be overwhelming, so I suggest, go through your wardrobe and do a spring clean every few months and re-wear some of your old dresses without feeling ‘unroyal’.

Work on being polite 

Most women or people in general are drawn to someone who makes the other person feel comfortable. Speak softly and sound gentle. Don’t talk too fast, yell or wallow in unrefined gestures. Look at yourself in the mirror daily and practice your smiles. This is very distinguished.

Develop your own sense of style

Putting together a classy outfit can be fun, so go through all your magazines (Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Elle) and create a vision board of what you like and what outfits you want to buy in the future. It can be outrageous and funky as you like, or pretty and vintage like Blair Waldorf’s style. Sticking to your own style is the best way to go! If something doesn’t flatter you, don’t wear it – having your own personal style and taste is the best way to exemplify your character and personality. 

Always wear clean clothes, do your washing as much as you can throughout the week. Wear neatly together outfits and put on a little bit of lipgloss and eyeliner, with a hint of blush. During the day stick to simple ways to keep yourself looking fresh.

Wear a nice long black silhouette slender dress 

This is the epitome of class, the perfect achromatic black dress. If you have one, show it off wherever you go. Black is always in style and never goes out of date.

Wearing something flattering like this, is so natural and classy.

fashion-2013-10-kate-middleton-jenny-packham-black-gown-stairs-main

The Duchess Of Cambridge Attends Place2Be Wellbeing In Schools Awards

Even if it’s not an evening dress, find or shop for something simple like this!

Kate Middleton Shops On Kings Road

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kate-middleton-autumn-gala-evening-dinner-in-london-october-2014_3
the-little-black-dress2


Going Audrey style is perfect too! She has been the epitome of class throughout the decades and especially, the era of the 50’s and 60’s, and has been a fantastic example as an actress, model, dancer and humanitarian. Widely known for her movies such as Roman Holiday, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and My Fair Lady, “she was ranked by the American Film Institute as the third greatest female screen legend” as said on Wikipedia.

Market yourself

Creating a blog is a great way to get yourself out there and noticed, but sometimes not necessarily. You could work years on blogging and go nowhere, and all your work is just ‘archives’.

Talk to women everywhere you go, and talk about your favourite things. You have to believe in yourself and not just that, believe that you are high class first, and then be totally dynamic and hold yourself high. Learn to be a woman of value, and most importantly, be considerate. This will take you places and people never forget what you do for them. Marketing yourself doesn’t necessarily mean to “get yourself out there”, but basically holding yourself with dignity and respect and love for yourself. If you don’t do something for someone you are of no value to them. What you do for people is number one.

One thing I have learnt over the years is a woman of low value can be someone who has low self esteem themselves and they suck value from others, always getting something from someone and not giving back.

Develop rituals that support your self-worth.

A high quality woman is a woman with a high sense of self worth and we all know that a lady that knows her worth is someone of great value.

Do things to keep yourself busy and productive throughout the day. For example, I find my self-worth and confidence by writing this piece in itself.

You truly know and feel great worth by accomplishing much with your life, and I love the fact that Kate Middleton is not ‘just a princess/duchess’ but she is a woman that works hard for her country and she prepares herself for speeches, and engagements, etc.

I want to feel a sense of accomplishment in everything I do, and that’s what Kate would feel as well. Having purpose and contentment is so important and fulfilling, that sometimes I feel frustrated when I feel I am not doing enough! Even after writing this piece I feel I want to do MORE!!!!! And that’s a great feeling!

So, develop daily rituals daily by giving to others, developing fantastic relationships with your neighbours or friends at school or work, and try not to be judgemental, but full of love.

We can get so caught up with ‘worldly’ women rather than ‘classy’ women, that I hope that these eight points help you to live, learn and obtain classy points in your life. There are numerous articles on being classy on google, it is absolutely ENDLESS, but I particularly wanted to hone in on important factors that could help you be a little more like ‘Kate’!

         LOVE

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Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Gratitude Journal


ENJOYING EVERYDAY LIFE

One book I read as a teenager in 2004 was “Enjoying where you are on the way to where you are going” by Joyce Meyer. It is a spiritual christian book that digs deeper into the thoughts and joys of life.

We were given this life to enjoy every second, minute, hour, day, week and months and YEARS of life!!!!! Like I said, I am a spiritual kind of person as I did grow up in a church atmosphere all my life.

One question I would like to ask you, is, ….. Are you enjoying life?

That is something to think about, as I believe we were created to enjoy life to the fullest. I was once confused, as someone in a church said to me “Life’s not about enjoying it”, then when I went to another church, a friend quoted scripture to me and said that God said, “Therefore, I commend you the enjoyment of life”.

This got me thinking, how terrible would it be, to be known as someone that did NOT enjoy life!!!! You wouldn’t want that on your grave plaque!

If we can’t enjoy life, then there’s no hope for the future!!!! I believe we are called to ENJOY the journey that God has for us, or if you value a different belief system, a path of faith.

This reminds me of the scripture – “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you a hope and a future, plans to prosper you, not to hurt you” – Jeremiah 29:11 (Quoted from the Holy Bible)

This gives us affirmation into the destiny that is set before us!

TRUST - BELIEVE

A friend of mine, Diana Bordean, tagged me on Facebook to do a Gratitiude Journal.

GRATITUDE JOURNAL

I AM GRATEFUL FOR……

A gratitude journal is something that will enrich your life and bring joy to your soul, by bringing out one thing: an attitude of gratitude.
It has been said that a new habit can be formed in 21 days.

Today I wrote down 3 things that I am most grateful for,

  1. My parents
  2. A roof over my head
  3. Mum’s cooking!!!

and will do it for the next 21 days.

Gratitude-cicero

I hope to begin to see changes in the way I think, by noticing those things around me that are purposefully bringing attention to, I want to recreate my mental patterns and hopefully this will change my life. It said, ‘You will begin to feel joy more and more and it will be contagious to those around you!’ Last night I actually went to sleep with a smile on my face!

gratitude is the best attitude

Why don’t you start a gratitude journal and tell your friends to do the same thing, and let’s see just how much we can make the world a better place!

Get out your pen and favourite notebook, and start writing about what you are grateful about. This will help you in your journey in life, I believe.

Here is a more in depth article on Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal that will help you more with journalling.

happiness-via-gratitude-quote_daily-inspiration

I am looking forward to writing down what I am grateful for for the next 21 days. It will be hard, …. to think of more things, but I suppose, that it stretches your mind to think, and ponder on the most important things in life!

 

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Exquisite Emmalisa

What are you most grateful for today?

Are you going to start a Gratitude Journal?

Is there anything that your grateful about that you’d like to share?

Beauty, Fashion, Lady, Uncategorized

Top 10 Favourite Bloggers


I just want to share with you TEN Bloggers who I think are marvellous, and have unique  personalities that come out in their writing…. I haven’t listed them in any particular order, just the TOP 10.

BLOGGING

  1. A bit of Style Icon – From fashion to beauty, her taste is exemplary showcasing Versace bags, and a Chanel brooch….. “Black Lace Dress” was just posted up today!!
  2. Fleur De Force – I am a HUGE UK blogger follower. Fleur De Force talks beauty, fashion and lifestyle!!! WINNER of InStyle Magazine’s Project 13 Award for ‘OUTSTANDING YouTuber of the Year’ 2015, she even has her own SHOP….. You can buy “the Glam Guide” which is full of makeup tips, hair tips, healthy living tips, advice on relationships. She is a TOP blogger AND VLogger in the entire world!!!! I love her blogs, and she knows how to attract a girl to her page!
  3. Katie’s Beauty Blog – (Katie Snooks) She is so honest about the products she uses!! and is a crisp writer.She is an inspirational writer as well, and I love following her because of the way she presents herself!!! I particularly like her blog on “Detoxing with Champney’s box”, the pictures are just soooo pretty!!! Follow her Makeup Tutorials on Youtube as well. I love listening to her strong accent, especially my favourite is the MAC Lipstick Collection. Her eyes look amazing as well, check out her lashes!!!! Don’t forget to check out her Instagram…..Katie-Snooks
  4. London Beauty Queen – (Hayley Carr) I am IN LOVE with this page!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤  It gives me MORE inspiration to want to write, where I am is nothing compared to London, but you’ve always got to start somewhere. She knows how to put things in DETAIL.She was nominated for a Cosmopolitan Blog Award just after FOUR months of starting her website!!!! One of her key achievements is WINNER OF THE VUELIO ‘BEST BEAUTY BLOG’ AWARD 2015. BEST UK BEAUTY BLOG. I especially like her article on “Can Avon really be better than MAC?“, she gives an honest opinion. Even more, I am inspired by her article, “How to ensure you’re super efficient when working from home“. It is a bloggers guide, and I need to read this EVERYDAY for tips on how to better use my time efficiently as a blogger!!
  5. The Frugality – From anything pink to anything stylish, this blog has sooo many ideas for budgeting. Most clothes are in London, but from Jigsaw to GAP you can buy in Australia!!! She is a Freelance Fashion Stylist so she knows exactly what she is talking about!!! She was also featured in Grazia!!!! and In Style!!!!20160216-184526.jpg
  6. AnoushkaMarie – Her beautiful personality radiates through her writing, and especially her photos. She shares fashion and style within Australia, and knows how to BRING IT in the blogging world. Her name written in gold on her website says a lot about her personality, and she definitely is a heart of gold!!! She loves what she does!!!20160216-190759.jpg7.  Absolute Amy (Amy Zempilas) – Fashion and Style Blogger living in Perth, Australia, she particularly knows how to win people’s hearts with GIVEAWAYS!!!! My favourite post is the one on a lace dress she wore. Her latest post is also on pretty “White dresses“. She is also a lover of the brand, Sodashi!

Amy_Zempilas

8. Meerustyle (Abbey Neeham) – This is a dairy of Abbey’s fashion and travel. She lives in Sydney, Australia and also grew up in Great Britain, so she knows her fashion! Burberry is her first love, and she knows quite a bit about British Fashion!!! I particularly like her post on “Fashions Iconic Capitals” as she shares designs from London, New York, Paris AND Milan!!! oooo wweeeee!!!! Saint Laurent and Givenchy are in her vocabulary!!!

9. Man Repeller – (Leandra Medine) – Now this blog has got my attention, it is estimated that her page is viewed about 3.7 million times per month….. There are podcasts, and she has heaps of brand collaborations to keep her going!!! Check out “A day in the life during a  Fashion Week Weekend“. FASHION is her word.

10. Style Bubble (Susie Lau) – She launched her website in 2006 and now it is her business!!! She works with H&M, GAP and Urban Outfitters when it comes to campaigns and special projects, jealous much? She has also written for Elle Magazine, so she gives quite detailed articles, and lets out her inner writing queen. She has a HUGE following on her Instagram! Miss Popular I say!

Well, that’s my Top 10….. At the end of all this, I feel like I have actually done WORK…. eeekkk, my back needs stretching, and my eyes are growing tired, and it is only four minutes till 8pm. I feel like I need to do the SeaSource Detox Spa all over again!!!

But, tomorrow is another day, and I am looking forward to doing some more writing. Thinking of reading, “Nice is just a place in France” which is a New York Times Bestseller…. How to win at basically everything…….

Until next time! Enjoy reading these bloggers, and you won’t be disappointed. That will keep you busy for the next hour! Or two!

Exquisite Emmalisa

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