How to be a lady, Journal for 5 Day Blogging Challenge with Your Beautiful Business Academy, Lady

The 7 Traits of successful elegance


Here are my top 7 tips and traits for a lady aspiring to be a woman of elegance.

1. Kindness – caring, compassionate, loving and considerate

A kind person shows concur for the feelings of others and is helpful and generous. A kind person does good deeds without expecting rewards for doing so. It is a fundamental aspect of manifesting careens and can be the ability to place the needs of others before your own, to be completely selfless and full of empathy.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”

Mark Twain

Kindness is a character strength and a lot of people in this world classify it as ‘good character’. To me,it is number one. You are always going to have unkind people in this world, but we can’t change that, but we CAN change it by being kind. In some situations, where someone is unkind to you and your approach is to be kind back – to me, that is what a woman of strength is, and having that virtue of humanity can change your world.

You can practise or express kindness through doing charity work, or just going home and loving your family is enough.

“Kindness consists of doing favours and good deeds for others without the expectation of personal gain. This strength requires respect for others but also includes emotional affection. Kind people find joy in the act of giving and helping other people, regardless of their degree of relatedness or similarity.”

Tayyab Rashid

According to studies, it creates a significant increase in life satisfaction. Another study also found that participants felt happier spending money on others rather than themselves.

Happiness can be increased through the practice of kindness.

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness” Dalai Lama

Here are some ways to practice kindness:

– Buy a small gift randomly for someone
– Make a card for a friend
– Talk to someone who is shy
– Set up a coffee date with an old girlfriend
– Donate your unneeded possessions
– Talk with a neighbour
– Smile at people passing by

2. Cautiousness

Now you are probably wondering why I put this down as a trait. I put this second as it is a trait that a lot of women aren’t really aware of. There can be so many situations where you can put this into practice. In relationships, particularly when someone uses you for their own gain – you need to be watchful and mindful of these kind of people, and carry on in circumspection.

Another great words to describe this trait is to be ‘vigilant’. These two words are found in the bible in Psalms a lot, particularly when King David talks about his enemies.

3. Self – Respect

As they say, “Elegant ladies are hard to come by.” If you are a young girl looking for information on how to be an elegant lady or like a lady in Downton Abbey, you will come to realise that they have a lot of self-love and del-respect for themselves. The way they carry themselves is with two things:

grace and poise

as they always say!

And how they dress definitely reflects their character. Self-care is of the utmost importance and self-respect and self-care co-exist. It is by development of self-understanding and self-awareness. Through the way they speak, address people, talk, what they are capable of, and holding a lot of self-confidence.

it is all about being aware and confident of who you are.

Through self-awareness you are attuned to your feelings, emotional responses, and listening to the tone of your inner voice. I also did a post on “Staying true to yourself” and it is not easy to do that if you really don’t know who you are, perceptively. To perceive is to be aware, and someone who is perceptive is considered aware, intelligent and insightful.

Huffington Post states on “the 10 Understated Qualities of a truly beautiful woman” that “when your are self-loving you naturally possess a quiet confidence. Your self-awareness, dedication to self-development and personal growth provide you the knowledge to succeed nearly at anything you seek”

4. Treat yourself first-class

An elegant striving lady always treats herself first-class; she is comfortable in her own skin and with her self.

Sometimes we feel less than a lady if we don’t treat ourselves as number 1! You have to think of yourself as FIRST CLASS even if you are in the middle/low classes of society. Society brands certain ladies to be who they WANT to be first-class. We can be bigoted about it and often we forget to use our strongest trait to be kind to ourselves.

5. Use what you’ve got

Wearing a $1000 Buberry coat, and $500 pairs of Vivienne Westwood shoes doesn’t have to be everyones signature and yes, I love delving into high-end luxury brands but at the end of the day, that doesn’t make you elegant. I believe elegance is definitely an inner beauty. It is the way you interact with people and the demeanour you carry that makes you truly elegant. You don’t have to look a MILLION dollars either, although that would be nice! You are probably thinking, why should I take advice from someone who uses the word “exquisite” for their blog, and they’re saying this!!?? but that’s just something I aspire to, and it is not the actual definition of my name. I hope you understand where I am coming from.

6. She uses proper etiquette

In my recent post “How to have proper etiquette” I hone in on the 19th century background but if that doesn’t interest you, it’s fine! In the modern world, it still applies today.

Proper etiquette never goes out of fashion, and knowing the basics, it shows an air or possession of elegance. Over the years, we forget the general rules of etiquette – it can be a “younger generation” thing or maybe you weren’t taught at home, or in your upbringing. It is important to understand it’s meaning and what perceptions you have.

7. A BIG heart

To some, this may seem the most important. I think this can co-exist with kindness because without a big heart ,there is none!

She is someone who doesn’t like to meddle in major gossip and is not petty or catty towards anyone! She is someone who is aware of her thoughts, moods, actions and she puts in a lot of effort when it comes to relationships/friendships.

I love what Kathleen Cheung said at the University of Toronto.

“She’s introspective and she puts in the effort to understand herself on a deeper level so she doesn’t let “what others think” or “what others do” to direct her decision in life.”

She is open-minded, honest, and most of all, believes in herself, and allows things to be, instead of meddling in other peoples affairs. It takes a big heart to help shape other peoples lives and your own. So, don’t forget to have an open heart towards people, even when you have been heart broken in the past or something major has changed the course of your life path.

I suggest you go through each trait thoroughly and write notes if you like. You can use the information for your own benefit, and I highly praise you for reading till the end because it is not EVERy girls ambition to have these kind of character traits and I admire you for wanting to read something of this calibre, with this title, to further develop yourself as a woman and “A Lady of Quality

Advertisements
Elegance, Home, Journal for 5 Day Blogging Challenge with Your Beautiful Business Academy, Lady

How to have proper Etiquette


dining room hall

In the 19th century, wine, entertaining and feasting was widely practised, as tradition in an English home was banqueting and/or hosting such huge events.

In Western European culture attending parties was almost like the law. It was a British regulation, and part of high society. In the late nineteenth century, a wealthy family would always serve their feast on exquisite china followed by silverware.

Although you have the working class to lower and upper middle class, all classes celebrate at some point.

I would love to one day specifically do a blog on “Victorian Englands Social Hierarchy” but I don’t want to get too carried away and off topic, but I just want to give you a bit of a background to the topic we are going to be covering.

The idea of banqueting is actually found in ancient times, but the definition of it is: a large meal or feast, completed with main courses and desserts. It is also known as an elaborate and formal evening meal.

For example, you have ‘state banquets’ held at Buckingham Palace. The English have “Dinner Etiquette” when it comes to formal dining. If you have been invited to a dinner, always make sure to RSVP at least within a week whether it is lavish or not. This is out of general respect. Your response should always be handwritten or printed on a correspondence card.

Dining-room-buckingham-palace

Manners and Etiquette in general should still matter these days and proper manners allow us to be comfortable in front of others and society. It is used in todays aspects, in a world of social media. Social Media etiquette is something I really would like to cover and is a whole other topic and should be used when posting on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, etc. I believe that when you use the correct manners you will always be highly regarded and more respected than those who don’t.

Formal Dining

  1. A formal dinner requires a lady to wear evening attire, such as a slim black dress that flatters or accentuates your body. In the eighteenth century the dinner dress code was a corset, bodice, stockings, petticoat, a gown, ruffles and shoes. (With  formal evening attire make sure you dress classically and appropriately. If you are not sure about the appropriate dress, ask the host before attending)
  2. Never serve for yourself, unless stated
  3. Do not pass dishes around, to avoid any trait of clumsiness
  4. When there are butlers, they do all the service and table clearing If there are serving dishes or utensils placed on the table then you may ask the hosts if you can serve yourself, otherwise, I always wit until I am told that i can serve myself. Wait, watch, look and see what other people are doing as well
  5. It is not your local coffee shop where you can just sit down wherever or whenever you like – there is specific seating arrangement, especially in royal household!

Feast by candle light

When serving a formal dinner

  1. Forks go on the left
  2. Salad fork first
  3. Dinner fork beside the plate
  4. On the right side of the plate, knife, appetiser, salad knife, spoon or soup spoon.
  5. The dessert fork and spoon are placed on the table above the plate, fork pointing right, spoon pointing left

At a formal dinner, the host/hostess or the guests do not assist with serving meals. Formal dining, you should know, does not allow you to have second helpings as well.

formal dinner diagram

Menu Courses

A full course dinner can consist of several dishes. Even 16!

  1. Appetisers – These canapés would be served in the drawing room before entering the dining room
  2. Soup – A cream coup to help digestive systems prepare for heavier courses
  3. Fish – Can be served as a platter hot or cold
  4. Entree – can consist of poultry or vegetables
  5. Removes – This is a portion of a meal
  6. Sorbet – This is a palate cleanser
  7. Roast – The final heavy course

You can also include number 8 as a salad which is greens with a light dressing.

DiningatDownton

If you want to Eat like an Edwardian with a meal plan like the Crawleys of Downton Abbey, this is the way to go! You can also include fruit and cheese! Here is an example from Prince William and Catherine Middletons wedding:

wedding-menu

Traditionally, after the whole course menu there is some form or entertainment, typically in the 19th century it was dancing and playing with cards – like you see in those period costume dramas.

Getting involved in these activities will benefit you socially and people will love you for it!

Lastly, don’t forget to say ‘thank you’ to the host/s for such a wonderful evening, or for holding such a great party! The nicer you are, the more respect you get!

img_6277-3

Elegance, How to be a lady, Lady, personal development

#Girlcode – The Secret to Success in a digital world


Etiquette-1

Social Media Etiquette 

 

Facebook Do’s and Don’ts

 

  • Ensure you set your privacy settings to maximum secuity
  • Do use Facebook to connect with friends and relatives at home and overseas
  • Do use Facebook as means to open communication with long lost friends and/or aquaintances
  • Share information that is humorous, informative, inspiring and inclusive
  • Never use Facebook as a means of cyber bullying
  • always keep private information off Facebook including sensitive news such as a death in the family or a break up. Tell those concerned personally
  • Do not accept friend requests from people you don’t know
  • Do not post controversial opinions
  • Do not comment rudely on others’ status updates
  • Do not post images or content that you wouldn’t be comfortable showing in a room full of strangers in real life
  • Avoid posting selfies in an attempt to gain the approval of others. Excessive posting of selfies is indicative of insecurity
  • Avoid posting incriminating images or content of any kind
  • Avoid using Facebook as a soapbox from which to vent religious or political views or to insight racism or conflict.

 

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAhfAAAAJDUxMjhkZjU3LTdjMTEtNGI2Ni05ODMwLWRiNGE3ZjY0Y2ExMw

 

 

img_6277-3

Lady, Lifestyle, TRAVEL

Treasured moments at Tranby House


Brought to you by Peninsula Tea Gardens, ‘Parisian afternoon tea’ was divine, and scrumptious dipping in different tea flavours and trying out different tea sandwiches on the banks of the Swan River in Perth, Western Australia.

Sandwiches are a a variety from the following:

– ham, egg, and Dijon mustard with mayonnaise

– Roast Beef and Horseradish with avocado mayonnaise

– and my favourite was Smoked Salmon and cucumber with salmon mousse and cream cheese

 

They were stacked and presented on a three – tiered curate stand together with fine bone china and silverware.

The pink macaron was a delight!

I arrived about 45 minutes early, so I decided to take the time to take some photos for the blog, so that you can enjoy a snippet of what it would be like. It was so inviting, and welcoming, and I really loved walking around the area whilst children and parents were about the farm. At first I didn’t know if I was in the right spot, but then learnt that Tranby House is the name of the historic farmers cottage from the early 1800’s and then they turned it into Peninsula Tea Garden. It is described as an english cottage styled farm house and the house is 19th century style. It was named Tranby House in 1923, and is one of the oldest surviving buildings from the early settlement of the Swan River Colony.

Second course, of course, was Scones served with strawberry preserve and whipped cream.

 

There was an assortment of French styled cakes and petite fours, and my choice of tea was ‘Stockholm’. The variety of teas to choose from were English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Lover leap, Kenilworth, Assam, Darjeeling, Camomile, Buddha’s tears, Wuyi, Loolacondera, Serendip chai, and Barbado Dream.

I would mention the details of each tea, but if you click on the website, and go to Menu, then Full Menu, the details of each tea will be listed on the menu for you to look at.

I wanted to try the Kenilworth for something REALLY English, but I decided on Stockholm, and because we loved it so much, my friend bought it for me as a present.

Something delicious to have at home!

Served with a pot of tea, my choice was Stockholm with milk served with fine bone china. I did have a look underneath the cup to see which one it was called but I have forgotten what this one was called! If I had a choice I would’ve chosen the pink Old Country Roses of course! I thought the silverware left an exquisite feel to the high tea!

 

This is the gift bag with the ‘Stockholm’ tea in it. Great to have some goodies for home!

All in all, it was a wonderful experience to have a “proper” high tea with fabulous friends, and it was an experience I will never forget. There is also a ‘light tea menu’ you can experience or just ‘Peninsula Tea’ which is a selection of dainty finger sandwiches, the freshly baked scones with shipped cream, two delicate cake slices, and a pot of tea of your own choice. Vegetarian options are also available.

Bookings are essential. You can click on the website I highlighted for you, and click on “Book Now”. If you would like to see more reviews other than my own, to get more of an insight as to what other people like about it, look at the reviews on ‘Their Moments‘.

Gluten free options are also available, and when seated the staff will ask about dietary requirements. The staff were great, and the view was magnificent of the Swan River, so it was really nice to sit and overlook the river whilst munching on sandwiches and sipping yummy tea.

There are also specials available, such as the smoked salmon salad, or ploughman’s lunch.

So, there is quite a few to choose from if you are not having the ‘high tea special’.

I would particularly like to try the ‘Sweet Tea’ because they recommend to have the Stockholm tea with the scones, cakes and seasonal fruit.

If you are a Mum, it is great to organise a “Children’s Tea Party” which is only $14.80 per head.

So, for an exquisite afternoon tea, don’t forget to book at Tranby House’s Peninsula Tea Garden. Go to the “High tea and booking” tab on their website.

Opening hours are Monday to Sunday 8am to 5pm.

You can call on 08 9272 8894

Address is:

Johnson Road,

MAYLANDS, WA, 6051

Elegance, How to be a lady, Lady, self help, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Staying true to yourself


I have recently been thinking a lot about what and how young girls think and do and act to fit in a world of boys, friendship, and closeness of peers.

I don’t know everything that goes on in the world, because I lived a pretty sheltered life myself, but I have a heart to reach out to girls that go through either cyber-bullying, peer pressure, and fights that go on in a circle of friends.

I like to stick to basics, and sticking to basics is the best way to go if you want to lead a simple, care – free life.

My top priority in staying true to myself is to:

 

  • Be a lady of quality

 

Continue reading “Staying true to yourself”

Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Tea Etiquette


old_country_roses_ls_1-2

They say that the traditional time for Afternoon Tea is Four o’clock, because it is between lunch and dinner, however any time between two and four o’clock is fine.

Here is a guide to show you how to have a traditional English Afternoon Tea:

When setting up your tea tray, it should consist of:

A Teapot

Tea Strainer (optional)

Creamer

Sugar bowl (with Sugar tongs – to serve the sugar cubes)

A small saucer (For lemon slice on the side) Or you may want to put some Classic Cream Scones on the side.

Guests cups and saucers

You don’t have to have a flash silver setting, if you are having a less formal setting, and you don’t have to go out to the department stores and buy the most expensive thing!!! It is nice to have either “Old Country Roses” Royal Albert collection or “Miranda Kerr for Royal Albert Friendship Tea for Two“, if its just with your best friend! It is so pretty because it has peonies printed on the teapot and teacup, and you can also get the mug too! This fine bone china is microwave safe and the banding is 22 carat gold plus there’s FREE shipping!

I especially like the Polka Rose Formal Vintage Teacup and Saucer as it is very pretty.

tea_party_table_mm_3

Etiquette & Manners

When hosting a proper afternoon tea, invitations are a must! So that the guests know what to wear, or what to bring. I recently just learned that afternoon tea is not the same thing as a “High Tea” – High Tea is actually what the servants had in grand estates at 6pm after they had given upstairs their afternoon tea.

Being well-mannered is a lovely thing to have. Learning how to conduct yourself at the dining table is essential, and is something that you learn over time. It is not something you learn over night (although if you are a quick learner, it can be easy to learn). It is important to practice graceful and splendid manners! and I have talked about etiquette in a few posts such as “How to be a Lady“, and “Easy Etiquette“.

Extra Tea Equipment

A gorgeous pretty table cloth would be essential to match with the china, if possible along with cloth or linen napkins.

If you choose to have scones, knives can be needed to cut the scones in half (but the proper british way is you merely break the scone in half with your fingers, I have hear using a knife isn’t really the proper way but people do still use them occassionally) and you can add a small bowl with strawberry jam for the scones. Or clotted cream – YUM!!! and don’t forget some forks if you are having CAKE!

The Tea Party

When everyone is seated at the table, take the napkin and unfold it on your lap with the crease folded towards you. The hostess pours the tea and always ensures that each guests teacup is full. Then you offer the milk, sugar or lemon.

When pouring your guests tea, make sure you don’t pour multiple cups at the same time and pass several cups at a time. The pourer should hold the teacup and saucer in their left hand and can ask their guests if they like their tea strong or weak, and then ask if they want sugar or milk with it.

Once the tea is poured, wherever you are, at home, someones house, make sure that you don’t make a loud noise when stirring. Make sure you stir gently. Don’t stir in a circle (to avoid clanging), so move the teaspoon in a small arch back and forth, so not to make a noise.

Once finished stirring, do NOT put the teaspoon on the table, make sure you put the teaspoon on the saucer on the right hand side behind the china cup. That is the proper etiquette – whatever the culture is.

Number One Rule

Don’t lift your pinky (People think this is the proper way of etiquette but it is actually NOT). In social settings it is actually considered rude and in British Etiquette especially it is best to curl your pinky finger in. The correct way is to make sure your thumb and index finger meet in the handle.

high-tea-etiquette-1

and when you have finished your cake, make sure you dab your mouth with a napkin (not wipe!)

Tea Sandwiches must have their crusts cut off and can be presented either in a rectangular or triangular way. I also just learnt that the Royal Household prefers to have them cut in small squares, and (That’s the way I like it! hehe) They can also be eaten with your hands, not cutlery.

And then you can have your scones……

Spoon a dollop of cream, or your jam onto the edges of your plate.

Spread just enough of a bit of jam and cream onto the scone with your butter knife, and enjoy! It is nice to take a sip of tea between each bite.

You can learn how to use the Basics of learning to eating a scone properly here.

If you are unsure on what sort of tea to buy, have a look at some loose leaf tea and tea bags on the T2 website. The gift cubes are only $14! If you haven’t read my previous post, I have recommended my new favourite tea!!! It is called “London Strand Earl Grey” – I have been drinking it every day!!!  It has bergamot and a hint of citrus, but tastes positively heavenly.

pink-love-heart

img_4922-5

 

Reference Articles

There is a fantastic article on Vogue teaching you the Do’s and Don’ts of drinking tea.

“How to do a proper English Afternoon Tea like a Royal”

and theres another one on Afternoon Tea Etiquette – Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts written by Afternoontea.co.uk

and I absolutely ADORE Huffington Post’s article on “British Tea Etiquette: How to Drink it Downton Abbey Style

 

Elegance, How to be a lady, Lady

Easy Etiquette


So far my favourite blog that I have done is the one, How to be a lady. The word “lady” is a civil term of respect for a woman…. and being a lady can be seen as a formal thing. I believe a “woman” and a “lady” can both be perceived as two very different things. Some women don’t know “how” TO BE a lady and need to learn to refine themselves in etiquette, culture, hobbies, and even in speaking in general. Take up something in the arts, or study something that sparks your interest!!!! For example, I am interested in a course Bachelor of Arts (Ancient History) as I am completely intrigued by Roman times and biblical history and so on and so forth…. Who’s to know if I ever do DO it but I know that I DO have an interest in something!!!!!

Continue reading “Easy Etiquette”